You’ve become so accustom to saying you’re OK that sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’re not. But not every day is an OK day. You and I know there are days that are really not OK at all.
But the people around you wouldn’t really know it, now would they? Chances are, you’ve gone to great lengths to make sure they don’t. They won’t. To them, you are OK even on those days you really don’t believe it. Even on those days you’re struggling the very most. You look at them through your strain and await their reaction. Always wondering where the point of intervention will be. Surely someone will say something sooner than later… or maybe you’re not nearly as sick as you’ve made yourself believe. Maybe no one notices because there’s nothing to notice… it’s all in your head. Your mind will make you believe your biggest fears until many of them begin to come true.
That’s the power of thought.
On the days you don’t feel OK, this power is all the more potent. It can destroy you.
On the days you don’t feel OK, you smile the most.
You try the hardest on the hardest of days.
You conceal, hide, shy away…
And this hurts you. It hurts you and the people around you — the people who never get a chance to know the reality of what it’s like to be uniquely you… the people who are never given a chance to help.
You feel like you’re protecting them when really this prolongs the pain.
Yes, they may experience pain because of your pain. This is how empathy works, and anyone who loves you will at least try to empathize with your pain… but they need to know it exists, and you need to understand this isn’t a bad thing.