By Dorothy Field
When you love someone and you both have anxiety, it is the kind of passionate love that consumes all of you. You can feel it everywhere in your body and this is the literal definition of a love that overwhelms you so much that it hurts to breathe when they are not around. You are filled with so much emotion, all at once, and you crave each other so much that you want all of them- mind, body and soul.
When both of you have anxiety, it can be the most insane, emotional, mad, extraordinary and intoxicating kind of love that any two people could have.
It is those late nights filled with thoughts that make you doubt if it is ever going to work out. It is replaying the conversations you had with them over and over again in your head, wishing you had said something different. It is moments of sending the wrong text message that would be misunderstood and knowing it could turn into a fight. It is feeling your chest closing in on you and not being able to breathe every time you argue with them. It is overthinking every little thing they say that makes you uncomfortable and thinking whether you should be upset or not.
It is having the worst of fights that last for days and going to sleep with tears from a broken heart that can’t be fixed by anyone but them.
It is being filled with doubts and insecurities if all this is going to be worth it. It is seeing a future with them and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them but having it crashing down in a fraction of a moment in every argument that you have. It is those downfalls of trust issues, negative thoughts, doubts and insecurities. Having anxiety is hard by itself, but falling in love when both of you have anxiety is a kind of unique insanity that will drive you mad. It is having this desperate craving for nothing but them, wanting their soul more than anything else and feeling your chest hurting because of the realization of just how much you love them. It is the feeling of lust when their lips meets yours and knowing that it isn’t enough and all you want is his skin on yours and knowing that your hearts would ignite. It is wanting to know their thoughts and falling in love with even their darkest and most vulnerable thoughts they have ever had and them doing the same. It is wanting to hear each other’s laughter and knowing that it was the kind of laugh that you would never get tired of for the rest of your life.
When you fall in love and both of you have anxiety, it could be the most all-consuming kind of love you have ever felt in your life, but it could also be the most passionate kind of love that you only get to feel once in your life.
You understand each other on a deeper level than anybody ever will.
You will always love each other, especially on those darkest and lowest days in your life when your chest hurts and you have trouble breathing and they hold you tight and somehow, you know that everything is going to be okay.
You will choose to work things out and you will always choose each other, no matter the odds.
You have their past, present and all of their future and they have yours, no matter what doubts your thoughts would tell you. You will never tell each other to calm down, because you both know more than anybody else in the world that anxiety is not something that you can just shut off or control. You will always remember that the love you have for each other is worth more than the days you are filled with anxiety and uncontrollable arguments of even the simplest things. You will always remember that if it all comes down to it, the love you both have for each other is going to be worth it.