By Lauren Jarvis-Gibson
1. You feel worthless and fear people don’t truly like or love you.
You don’t understand why anyone could ever truly care for you. When people show affection to you, you assume they are lying or are doing it because they feel sorry for you.
2. You feel overwhelmed easily.
You feel completely one minute and the next very second, you are hit with a tsunami of panic and uneasiness. Even at a calm and small get together, you can all of a sudden feel panicked. This causes you so much stress and pain because you can never figure out what causes or triggers it.
3. You use alcohol and drugs to numb your pain.
To try to get out of your head and forget about what is going on your life, you resort to drugs, sex or alcohol. Anything to numb the panic and the sadness even if it’s just for a night.
4. You isolate yourself but get worried people will judge you.
You have been isolating yourself from the people you love more often than not, but each time you cancel on people or on an event, you feel petrified they will think less of you. Whenever you want to spend more time alone, you fear the people most close to you will think you’re odd or weird.
5. You are always exhausted.
You are always so tired, no matter how much sleep you get during the night. During the day, you are constantly achy and yawning. Not even gallons of coffee does the trick for you and it really brings you down to have no energy whatsoever.
6. The idea of your future makes you panic.
Thinking about your future and your ‘five year plan’ makes you want to give up entirely. It freaks you out the idea of the unknown, and you because you can’t control that, it causes you to become severely stressed out about what your personal life and professional life will be like later down the road.
7. When you make a mistake at work, you’re convinced you’re going to get fired.
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone fucks up. But when you do even the tiniest of errors, you self destruct. You beat yourself mentally and even physically for being stupid and you tell yourself that you are a waste of people’s time.
8. You automatically assume the worst in every situation.
Even for a vacation, you start to think about things that could go wrong. For every situation you’re in or about to be in, you create a scenario that messes with your head and makes you want to hide away.
9. You have incredibly low self esteem.
You look at yourself in the mirror and don’t like what you see. You don’t like the person who you have become and it makes you feel so low and alone. You forget what it feels like to have confidence and to love yourself.
10. You overthink everything.
Whether its a conversation you had a year ago, or an event that is coming up in a couple ideas, you over think it. You replay conversation you had in your head and consistently knock yourself down. You are always overthinking and worrying about something or someone else and their perception of you.
11. You try to stay in bed most days to save yourself from more worry and fear.
Your bed is your safe haven. No one can hurt you there. No one can bother you. No one has to see if you’re in a terrible state or mood. Your bed is the only place where you can be your true self.